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Just seen a sign reading "PAY ATTENTION WHILE WALKING your Facebook status update can wait". While on Facebook on my phone. While walking...
It`s been a boring day today. Not exactly Nascar boring, but awfully close.
Just joined the support group Hokey Pokey Anonymous ... A place to turn yourself around. ;)
Adulthood is when 4:30am is early in the morning instead of late at night.
It’s a good thing the fate of mankind doesn’t depend on me turning on the correct stove-top burner on my first try.
How do they fit all that money inside such a tiny credit card??
If I drop my food on a plane, and we change time zones at the same time, do I receive an additional hour to the 5 second rule?
Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution?
I call it a Cupcake Salad. And I don`t see how it`s any of your business.
Why do they leave folding chairs so close to the wrestling ring? Shouldn’t the maintenance staff have learned their lesson by now?
Why do we even ask rhetorical questions?
Please help control the pet population, have that special talk with your pet!
How many times do I have to say "excuse me" before "get the f*ck out of my way" becomes acceptable?
I`m old enough to remember when having a long cord on the home phone was privacy.
Suddenly I can`t remember if it`s ok to use tampons as Nerf darts or if it`s the other way around.