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My girlfriend said that I should use the term `make love` instead of `f*ck.` What the make love is she talking about?
Caller ID should be more detailed~ "Wants Help Moving" "Going to Whine" "Will Ask to Borrow Money"
I mixed coffee with Red Bull today..I got half way to work when I realized I forgot my car!
Screw you, regular cars that look like police cars. Also vice versa.
Lightning bugs use their blinkers more than most drivers.
On average I spend $75 a year to watch bananas turn brown.
I never said I hated you. I just said that if you where on fire, I would consider roasting marshmallows. Big difference.
why me is me ?
Was wondering...when you have a mandatory meeting at work, why do the presenters always thank you for being there?
"Never go to bed angry" is the worst advice ever. I haven`t slept in a week!
There is always light at the end of the tunnel. It might be a train or a truck so dont let it hit you.
None of my girlfriends even know they`re dating me.
Coffee gives me the illusion I`m actually awake
F*ck you, regular cars that look like police cars. Also vice versa.
I need to find a woman that loves me for my money....but doesn`t understand math. (<>..,<>)