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I called one of those numbers in the bathroom stall and my wife answered. Very funny guys.
Netflix doesn’t care if u showered or not
Do whatever you want. And if it’s something you’re going to regret in the morning…sleep late.
New Subway rule: You must give the person in front of you a wedgie if they take more than 5 seconds to choose what kind of bread they want.
Whenever I read: "Do not exceed recommended dose" I always think, "Challenge accepted!"
I`ve never said "in all seriousness" and actually meant it.
drink beer ?? save water
The only time I hit the panic button on my car keys is accidentally, and the only person who panics is me.
Life`s too short for Salad..............
Why do people say ``I saw it with my own eyes." Do they sometimes use other peoples eyes?
People really need to get with the times. Smartphones are not for talking anymore.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
Nothing makes me more productive than the last minute.
Having to cash in my State Quarter Collection`s map for gas money is reaching a new low.
You wanna know where I`m ticklish? Hawaii.