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I`m not sure why they gave all these other people cars.
Porn is so unrealistic. There`s no way a guy with a ponytail could have a house that nice.
A simple "good morning beautiful" text could make any girl smile for the whole day. ..but knocking on the bathroom window first to ask her number sort of ruins it for some reason.
Facebook is like a fridge. When you`re bored you keep opening and closing it every few minutes to see if there`s anything good in it
Those teardrop tattoos mean you cried during the notebook, right?
I’ve been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions.
Just once I`d like to see someone in a movie call bullshit when someone tells them their phone number starts with 555
Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets
Got this super hard game on my phone called Bank Of America. You only get a power up every 2 weeks? Need cheat codes
I`ve just been hit in the head with a werthers, and I thought........... That`s original!!!
If a door closes in your life...kick that f*cking thing open and continue to pursue your dreams.
My friend told me his girlfriend talks a lot in her sleep..Apparently "I know" was not the right answer...
Is professional lollygagger an actual job yet?
How I talk: 25% swearing, 25% sarcasm 50% a combination of both.
I hate people who take drugs ... Customs for example.