Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
that moment when autocorrect decides to ruin you and makes a text incredibly awkward.
On the highway, getting passed by a minivan is the football equivalent to getting tackled by the kicker.
Feeling so good today ... High-five the person next to you and tell them it`s from me.
I`m easily influenced... That`s why I try not to watch too much porn
Break the ice in a crowded elevator by asking how much everyone weighs.
She looks like the kind of girl that brings a suitcase on the first date.
screw flowers, its all about chia pets ;)
I enjoy a glass of Wine each night for it`s health benefits! The rest of the bottle is for my flawless dance moves, and to make you look more appealling!
Iām not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on.
Don`t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.
You think having periods is hard? ... Try being on a 24 hour killstreak on Call of Duty with itchy balls.
I want to sleep tighter
Women.Some men undermine, disrespect and consider them weak,forgeting the countless spanks they got from their mothers
I just made an emergency survival kit. You know, for emergencies. It looks like all my other kits, but don`t be fooled; this one is red and has more liquor.
People who think only god can judge them have obviously never hung out with my friends.