Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I still know what you did last summer........... cos you posted it on facebook!
Why must the phrase, "It is none of my business" always be followed by, "but"?
It is amazing how a nice pair of boobs can hide serious flaws and signs of mental illness until after you marry them!
If I treated others how I wanted to be treated, I`d be doing a ton of spontaneous sexual favors for random strangers.
It hurts when you go to unfriend someone and you find they`ve beat you to it!
Just stepped outside, closed my eyes, took a deep breathe of fresh air, sipped a Dew. What a perfect morning, what could go wrong? Crap I forgot 2 put pants on!
"Just so you know, you`re coming home with me tonight." I whisper to all the leftover food on the table from our dinner date.
I’ve realized I get ridiculously nervous driving behind semi’s or trucks carrying sh!t that could fall out and impale me all because of final destination 2.
Neighbors just kicked me out of their shower and called the cops. Some of these pokemon go instructions are confusing. A lot of grey area...
Some old people are driving vehicles right now and don’t even know it.
Do you think the dude that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
Once you get past my charm, good looks, intelligence and my sense of humor, I think it’s my modesty that stands out.
A group hug in my family means someone wants to use you as a napkin.
If your online dating profile says "I don`t have sex on the first date" then that`s why you`re on a dating website.
When you are dead, you don`t know you are dead. It`s pain only for others. It`s the same thing when you are stupid.