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Roses are red Your thong is pink Cover that up You`re not as hot as you think.
Making everyone happy is impossible. But pissing them off is a piece of cake. I really like cake.
No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a light saber.
He turned to her, ran his hand up her thigh, across her belly and down her legs. When he turned back to watch TV, she asked "Why stop?" "I found the remote!" he replied.
This rough sex would have been a lot better if I wasn`t alone.
Who knew rock bottom was so crowded?
I have cat-like reflexes. If I hear a loud noise, I keep napping.
You’re probably naked under all those clothes. You slut.
Next time you’re asked “What’s Up” respond “A delightful animated film about a young boy and an old man who fly away to an exotic place in a balloon house.”
Quick question, ladies: If you shave your eyebrows off and then draw them back on, what the heck are you doing?
OK I`ve stumbled out of bed and made it to the computer- and another Facebook day begins!
Somewhere out there is a guy named Joe whose greatest achievement is that he was a really sloppy eater.
Don’t break anyone’s heart; they only have one. Break they’re bones. They have over 200 of them.
October is breasts cancer month. I stare because I care.
People who argue on their cell phones in public should have to do it on speakerphone so the rest of us can get both sides.