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I don’t care if it’s 4 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up.
someone took my mood ring away... dont know how i feel about it
Standing up: Wow, I`m actually kind of skinny. Sitting down: Okay, maybe not..
I think most of my friends hang out with me to see what I’ll say next.
Does all this status updating make my ego look fat?
There are three kinds of people: Those who totally agree with my messages, those who kind of agree with me, and those locked in the trunk of my car.
I spend 90% of my time at the gym choosing the right song for my workout.
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: To propagate authoritarianism and generate revenue for the state? Cop: ...
I`m really tired but it`s OK. There`s a nap for that.
FYI: You have to stop Facebook posting to have an alibi for ignoring texts.
At the start of every relationship many girls treat their boys as a GOD but later the alphabets are reversed
Ever notice that the first 10 seconds of a medical drug commercial is spent telling you what the drug is for and the rest basically daring you to take it?
Girls, dont read this please: Hey guys, isn`t it funny how our wives/or girlfirends really think that we care what they did that day? lol.....it never gets old.
once you delete your birthday from Facebook, you realize no-one ever gave a sh!t about you all along!
A few more months without getting laid and I should be eligible for employment at Gamestop.