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People should mute themselves on conference calls when they are crossing a battlefield and killing enemies to get to the next level.
The future is much like the present, only longer.
Strangers are like birds. If you run at them screaming and waving your arms they will run away.
Guys, Everyone. Listen. I`m going to say two words that will change your lives. Pizza Tacos. I know. Just breath.
It will be light. It will be dark. It will be light. It will be dark. It will be light. Then I`m back. Me, explaining a vacation to my cat.
I refuse to jump on the `I hate Mondays` bandwagon. I hate all workdays equally
Even this posting will offend some people, hopefully.
Hope you don`t mind if I make transformer sound effects when we switch positions.
Are the unmarried employees at Kraft known as Kraft singles?
In the spirit of spring cleaning and Easter, I`m keeping the dust bunnies as decorations.
Some mornings I feel like leaving my coffee until its cold enough that I can just pour it directly into my eyes.
I don`t think any of my vampire jokes will ever see the light of day.
I try not to brag but I`m really quite good at Yoga. I`m not flexible or anything but I am a master of that "Empty Your Mind" part
"Are u going to the circus?" is a perfectly good sentence when not used as a follow-up 2 your wife`s question: "how does my make-up look?"
If I lived everyday like it was my last, the body count would be staggering.