Daily Silly Status

Anyone else wake up in a grass skirt and coconut bra?

I hate girls who insert the phrase "my boyfriend" into every conversation. So does my boyfriend.

I`m sick to death of these letters from the City of College Station bullying me to mow my grass! If Walmat can prepare for Christmas 3 mths in advance why can`t I do the same for Easter!!!??

I bet when Hugh Hefner dies no one will say "He`s in a better place now."

Nipples (noun) - the body`s way of telling you the weather

My dream job would be the Karma delivery service

Bring a CD into my car that I "have to hear" and I`ll figure out a way to deploy the passenger side airbags

I`m just a boy, standing in front of a girl; not listening to a f*cking thing she`s saying. But nodding, lots of nodding.

Dear God, I´ve been very good today, no grumpy thoughts, no swearing and I haven´t been mean at all, but I´m about to get up now and I may need your help :)

I live for those really small but special moments in life, like when I see the waiter bringing my food to the table.

You`re telling me, a chicken fried this rice

I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children don’t know very much about children.

People don`t call each other jive ass turkey enough nowadays.

I get butterflies in my stomach every time I eat butterflies.

my girlfriend asked me to go to the store and pick her up 50 shades of grey, she was pretty mad when i brought home 50 tubes of lipstick.