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When I was a kid they didn`t call it "Behavioral Disorders", They called it "Being a little brat".
Hello 911? Do you think i`m pretty?
I couldn`t find the word `Disappear` in the dictionary. Strange!
Sometimes, I`ll start a text with "lol" if it might be a sensitive subject. Like, "lol it`d be cool if you moved out."
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Pokey, but I’ve turned myself around.
You should probably take everything I say with a grain of salt. And lime. And shot of tequila.
Don’t you hate when the whole bus is empty, but some guy sits right next to you? I know you do. That’s why I do it.
I wish they made bar-stools with seat belts and dual side airbags.
If you get angry, just relax, take a deep breath and count to ten, unless you`re angry about oxygen and numbers.
The more I get to know you, the more I`m convinced that you are the sole inspiration behind many medications.
Every conversation should come with a snooze button. That way if you`re being too boring, I can push a button and keep you from talking for the next 10 minutes.
I’m planning on ringing the new year in with a kiss ... whether my dog likes it or not.
Perfect girls are found at every corner of the earth... unfortunately, the earth is round.
If you would`ve told me back in 1999 that we`d still be using animated gifs in 2015, I would`ve said "Wow, what a boring conversation"
Why do we call it the Sun instead of a space heater?