Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI
Pro tip: when you have a drug test and they tell you to go to the bathroom in the cup, that means PEE. Always.
u smile i smile u laugh i laugh u cry i`ll go get a bat and say who`s gonna get it
A funny thing to do would be to text random numbers with "I got the live bees you sent, they`ll do nicely"
I’m old enough to know what’s bad for me and young enough to do it.
How awesome would it be if boobs made maraca sounds when you shook them? LOL
You know what`s beautiful? Read the first word again.
I`m starting to doubt that all of the people in this singing group are called Carol.
There is always light at the end of the tunnel. It might be a train or a truck so dont let it hit you.
How to Train Your Dragon offers no practical dragon training information. NONE. Zero stars.
Thats it! I want to be re-inserted and I don`t want to remember a darn thing!
Don`t fall in love, learn how to ruin your life all by yourself.
My wife just changed here facebook status from "Married" to "widowed", should I be scared?
The only reason any of us can spell laboratory is because of Dexter.
My chemistry teacher asked us what the heaviest metal was today. Apparently "Megadeath" was the wrong answer.