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therapy is expensive...vodka is not. need I say more....
Whenever I see someone in a Smart Car, I expect to see a kid with a remote control nearby.
“Why is life so hard?” – Me, trying to open a jar of peanut butter.
If she asks what the weight limit is on your ceiling fan.... She`s a keeper!
I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it!
Sorry, I can`t today ... My sister`s friend`s mother`s grandpa`s brother`s grandson`s cousin`s uncle`s fish died. Yes, it was tragic.
I like to log into facebook and leave a status just to show I`m here. Or am I?
I was the hot single in my area the whole time.
ever notice that on a phone the word "mom" is 666?
Just heard about this teacher who had sex with her student. Another reason I won`t send my dog to obedience school
It`s no fun having nothing to do, fun is having a lot to do and doing nothing.
I don`t know why you are complaining about your appearance, your personality is even worse.
My advise to all the young people out there, "Do not grow up; it`s a trap!!"
Gluten free. Dairy free. Fat Free. I love the wine diet!
You don`t need to use your words if you`re carrying a machete. People just seem to figure it out.