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Today`s big idea - Coffee eye drops
Sometimes I wanna comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don`t wanna have to explain why I`m in your `Random Party Pics 08` album at 4am.
I need a Shazam app for people I`m supposed to recognize but can`t remember
my ex-girlfriend is a famous porn star. But would she be pissed if she found out.
When a couple asks me for directions,I know that the wife is forcing the guy to ask.That`s why I give them wrong ones to teach her a lesson.
Don`t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
They say money talks, mine just waves goodbye.
I have very poor ninja skills when it comes to staring at cleavage.
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
Anyone going to stare at their phones anywhere cool this weekend?
Be nice to me ... I may be hot one day.
I’m not in denial, I’m just selective about the reality I choose to accept :)
I have tonight off so if anyone’s free let’s go somewhere and look at our phones together.
I can`t wait til the Presidential race ends so we can stop hating people for their politics and go back to hating people because they`re jerks