Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you listen real closely, you can hear my alarm clock laughing as I set it.
Smile at the people who hate you. It makes them wonder what you`re up to. :)
Dear Santa: My sister is the "naughty" one ... trust me.
I`m not mature enough to be in a yoga class.
Always remember to speak clearly when complimenting a woman`s boots...
Everyone has that one friend that can turn any conversation into something dirty....I am usually that friend.
Marriage tip: Don`t
If by “clubbing” you mean eating club sandwiches then yeah I’m pretty into the club scene.
I heard Disney bought and are relocating the White House to Disneyland. They Say, it will be the new Center Piece of FANTASY LAND.
I have decided to leave my past behind me.. so If I owe you money..I’m sorry. but I’ve moved on.
It turns out if you cry at the DMV they`ll let you take a second photo
That awkward moment when you imagine your own funeral...
Don’t get me wrong. I totally hear what you’re saying…I just don’t care.
Beware of the deodorants with instructions that ask you to "remove the top and push up bottom"... they could at least make them round.
I only say "bless you" twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume it didn`t take and you`re a demon who must be destroyed.