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Forget beauty sleep. I want skinny sleep.
I`d be willing to sleep my way to the top if it actually meant sleeping.
I saw a chameleon today. I guess it was a pretty crappy chameleon.
I`m starting group meetings at my house for people who have OCD, not because I have it, but surely one of them will be bothered enough to clean it.
I hate people that take drugs, specially U.S. Customs and the D.E.A.
I cannot be held responsible for what my face does when other people talk.
There`s no way to gracefully remove a jacket while wearing a seatbelt...
thumbs up if you pee on the side of the toilet to make it quiet.
God is testing me today, but I don`t think he realizes I`m a `C` student.
Bulimia: Twice the taste. Zero Calories.
I know 3 facts about you: 1.You can’t say ‘M’ without your lips touching. 2.You’re trying it now looking like an idiot. 3. Now you’re smiling
Does anyone else wonder why naked and baked, 2 words that go together SO well, don`t rhyme?? ...I mean, who comes up with these words anyway? lol
The good thing about listening to a new song is that it doesn’t remind you of anyone.
Grammar. The difference between feeling your nuts, and feeling you`re nuts.
If by a blow job you mean blowing everything out of proportion then yes I totally rock at blow jobs.