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My daughter just explained to me that these dinner postings were not real invites. I have to apologize to all my friends out there for showing up last week.
I joined weight watchers last month, so far I lost 38 dollars...
Seems like you could save a lot of time if you just paired The Bachelor with The Bachelorette.
I have no idea who is gonna die first in this movie, because everyone is white.
Standing up: Wow, I`m actually kind of skinny. Sitting down: Okay, maybe not..
My Hamster passed today, he fell asleep at the wheel.
Head & Shoulders needs to come out with a body spray that will help repel flakey people from my life.
I used to be a terrible flirt ... I am much better at it now.
Ladies, when it comes to doggy style.....I`m behind you 100%
When are they going to drug test the audience of "The Price Is Right."? No one is that happy
New Life Goal: Get a job where people ask me, "You actually get paid for doing this?"
Then there was the ex-cop who started his own landscaping business. He called it Lawn Order.
I´m not insensitive, I just don´t care.
“I wonder how much weight I’ve lost.” -Me, after eating one healthy meal.