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Haters are my motivators(:
So what the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Their house paint is peeling.
There are no problems which cannot be solved through suitable applications of high explosives.
I don`t know if I should tip the bathroom attendant, or charge for letting him watch...
A new study found that legalizing marijuana in Colorado has created more than 10,000 jobs...by keeping Taco Bell open 24 hours.
The only instant messaging I enjoy is with my middle finger.
I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
If rolling your eyes burned calories, Facebook would be my gym.
If at first you don`t succeed, find out where she lives.
Why do single women take dating advice from other single women? That`s like Stevie Wonder giving driving directions to Ray Charles.
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn`t make the cut.
Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time.
I’m not implying you’re stupid. I’m saying it outright. Here, I wrote it in crayon to help you understand.
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering.
There’s no such thing as being ready for vacation to be over.