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How do I tell my boss I don`t want to do work anymore but still want money.
Surly not EVERYBODY was Kung-Foo fighting?
The statement ‘Hey! Calm down!’ has a zero to no success rate of getting someone to calm down.
He turned to her, ran his hand up her thigh, across her belly and down her legs. When he turned back to watch TV, she asked "Why stop?" "I found the remote!" he replied.
Marriage, because sometimes ruining a person`s life takes serious commitment.
Please accept this bundle of fragrant plants grown expressly to be killed while in their prime as a token of my love for you.
Nothing screams DUI like wearing a really nice suit on a city bus.
I got pulled over for drunk driving last night. In my defense I didn’t even know I was driving.
I wish I had the confidence of a male flight attendant
How am I supposed to get any work done with all this work I have to do?
A girl drinks 4 cosmos over a span of 60 minutes. 25 mins later, she texts 3 of her besties. How many emojis will she use? Show your work.
I know the light has changed twice people but I`m playing air drums until Moby Dick is over...sit back and enjoy the show please...
Every time I lose some weight, I find it again in the refrigerator.
People who get offended on the internet are the same people who take mini golf seriously.
Due to political correctness issues, "Krazy Glue" will now be known as "Mental Disorder Glue."