Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I need a keyboard shortcut for "sorry it`s taken me so long to reply to your text..."
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key
Boobs are to men what laser pointers are to cats
It’s not really drinking alone if the dog is home ... right?
I hope I die alone. I mean, you`d have to be a pretty big jerk to hope others die with you.
How big does a cupcake have to be before it`s just a cake?
There is no evidence that exists that life should be taken seriously.
I eat bananas with a fork, so I don`t look gay.
Carfax but for people
I just want to be perfect... Nah just kidding, I love being weird
My boyfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on his face. I love sharpies
I went to the missing persons` beurau. No one was there.
I always stop to help women who have broken down on the road. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how porn starts off. -Bfanch
I had a bit of a lazy day sitting in my underwear looking for jobs online. My boss was furious.
The only thing worse than it raining after you wash your car is having to poop as soon as you get out of the shower.