Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update bar as the search bar on my browser.
If abortion is murder then are condoms kidnapping?
The boss keeps talking about a company 401k ... I don`t think I can run that far
Very excited to announce I`m on the market and actively looking for someone new to make me miserable
Go to China on honeymoon. Get intimate with Husband. Tell child that they were "Made in China."
There just isn`t enough make-up in this world to cover up crazy.
This status has been censored by Facebook
Hey babe, go to Google Earth, zoom in on your house. See that blue cap in the bushes? Hi!
Remember when phones were stupid and people were smart? hmm...
To Do List: 1: Buy a knife 2: Call it kindness 3: Kill people with Kindness
Do you know what I hate worse than people? Groups of people.
Dating tip: Men always remember the woman who vomited on them.
Arm wrestling is DEFINITELY the manliest sport where Two dudes hold hands...
I`ve always wondered is jellyfish are sad because there are no peanut butter fish.
if your dirty, your dirty... you cant fix it