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Just slung my bra off & threw it to the other side of the couch where there are already 2 other bras. If my math is right, it`s Wednesday.
To be truthful from deep down ... I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
I’ve had no formal martial arts training, but I know for a fact the Power Rangers are wasting too much energy on unnecessary summersaults
My internet goes out more than I do.
Is beer cheaper off the kids menu
It is literally impossible to prove that Harry Potter wasn`t just in his parents basement on acid the whole time
Please don’t take anything I say personal or too seriously. I’m just an idiot with internet access.
Whoever left me in charge of all this booze is going to have a lot to answer for tomorrow.
Someday, somewhere, somehow I’m going to do something.
I can tell a police officer is gay by the way he writes me a ticket instead of letting me off with a warning.
I just bought all six seasons of Hoarders on DVD
Confucius would have been great at Status Updates......
Admit it, we’ve all hidden our favorite food from the rest of our family.
All I’m saying is, you’ve never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time.
Holy sh!t Karma, how much longer till we`re all squared up?