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Thought I had $707 in my bank account, turns out it was "LOL" and I was holding my statement upside down.
If Shrek can find love, so can you. What I`m trying to say is, you look like Shrek
Next time you take your dog for a walk pretend he`s solving a mystery.
Do you ever bring your pet up to a mirror and you`re just like, "That is you."
Groundhog Day, Just walked outside and saw my shadow, It`s now official, Six more weeks of dieting :/
Texting totally changes your perception of how long stoplights are.
Sรถ รฎ hรจรฃrd รฟรดu lรฌkรช gรนรฟลก with รกcรงeรฑts?
Adulthood โ Pros: You can now eat ice cream in bed. Cons: This will somehow make you sadder.
I wonder how long I`ll be skinny from all this dieting and juicing I`ve been doing. 1 month? A year? A couple of ye....ooh look cake.
Could you imagine if guys commented on their guy friends` profiles the way girls do? "Bro, you look so handsome" "Looking hot, man!" "OMG, your jawline is cray" "Ugh, how are you this perfect dude? I`m jelly" "sexy much?!"
Is it wrong to use cheat codes for Wii Fit.
I can make your gf scream louder than you can. - Spider
I`ve reached the age where happy hour is a nap.
I will kill you with kindness even if I have to beat the sh!t out of you.
Most of the lies I tell aren`t even true!