Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
LIFE TIP: The early worm gets dismembered, and eaten alive!
When life gets you down, just remember: It’s never too early or too late for a nap.
I really like it when women check me out, they seem to be able to work the register a lot better than men.
Yes I am a bad boy ... But your the one that`s going to get spanked.
Question: : What do you get if you add human DNA to a goat? ... Answer: Kicked out of the petting zoo
Sometimes I just wish people were as easy to forget as PIN numbers.
The mind is like a parachute .... It doesn`t work if it isn`t open.
You think you`re pretty smart until you have to figure out how to turn on someone elses shower.
What if Oxygen makes our voice really deep…. And Helium just brings it back to normal?
received a call saying that my son had been lying in school, and was being expelled. I don´t have a son. That kid is one damn good liar.
The awkward moment when you realise you’re wrong in an argument, but you keep arguing anyway.
People in Detroit call Grand Theft Auto V "Tuesday"
They always say "love makes the world go around"... They spelled beer wrong.
I just wish the automatic paper towel dispensers were half as sensitive as the automatic flushers.
I think my iPhone is broken. I pressed the home button and I’m still at work.