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I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
I`m actually a pretty normal person when you ignore the faint cries for help coming from my basement..
I don`t believe women belong in the kitchen... because men are better at that too
It hurts when you goto unfriend someone only to discover they beat you to it
“Have you tried just drinking ALOT of vodka?”- me as a therapist
The most misinformed people think they know all the facts.
I`m just a guy struggling to find the appropriate level of inappropriateness for every social interaction I`m unlucky enough to be a part of
"Cannot connect to network. Reset your wireless router." "Umm, okay, but what if my router is in my neighbour`s house? Should I call him?"
"Holy sh!t, that guy eats a lot of pizza" -people that walk by my house on recycling day.
After I clear my browser history I do a quick google search for things like "feeding the hungry" and "How to thank a loving wife"
Judging from the bar receipts, ATM withdraws, hand stamps, and the glitter in my car, I now realize I`m a ball of fun when I black out.
I know the voices aren`t real, but man do they come up with some great ideas.
Destiny may decide who touches your Life. Your heart may decide who touches your Soul. But…Tequila decides who touches your body
Neil Armstrong said "One small step for man...". I would`ve just said "OH MY GOD, I`M ON THE MOON!!!!!!".
You know you`re a mom when someone says they have a stomach ache and you ask if they pooped today.