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Good thing girls started uploading pictures next to a pool with the caption "Summer is finally here!" or we wouldn`t have known it`s summer.
The guy that discovered milk...What was he doing to that cow?
You`d think my boss would know me by now and stop asking me everyday if I`ve been drinking.
It hurts when you go to unfriend someone and you find they`ve beat you to it!
My inner self is in Photoshop
I`ll do whatever it takes to be the mistake you can`t live without
Life is what happens when you’re not looking at a screen.
Does "Can I take your order?" sometimes mean "Let`s start a new life together" or am I reading too much into this?
What a lovely winter we`re having this spring.
Never scratch your a$$ with chocolate on your fingers.
My body is by no means a temple but it can be one heck of a amusement park ride...
"Nothing there? Better bark at it." - my dog
I’m positive that somewhere out there exists a video montage of me dancing alone in various elevators.
Today has been approved by both my middle fingers.
Ain`t no sandwich when she`s gone.