Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My favorite part of the day? The food part.
I hate the snow so much, I want to build a snowman just so I can punch it in its face.
Whenever I start feeling spontaneous, my bank account quietly reminds me to calm down.
I don`t know about you . But everytime I go on Twitter , I get this weird feeling , I am being followed.
Whenever our neighbor`s dog is barking, I know there`s either someone at their door or literally anything else in the universe has happened.
Stop complaining about being single on Valentine`s Day. We have bigger problems in this world. Like why McDonald`s doesn`t serve breakfast after 10.30
Facebook has suggested that I POKE you.
I love that moment when I`m cruising down the highway listening to country music and I suddenly realize "wait a minute I can change the station!"
Stress balls work best when you shove them down somebody`s throat.
Looks like I’m in the doghouse again, but I don’t know why. All I said to the wife was, “Is there anything important you want to tell me before the World Cup starts?”
I miss my ex a lot... but my aim is getting better.
I don’t let my friends do stupid things… ALONE!
Card on top of gift reads `I want you wearing this tonight` only to open the gift to find NOTHING
When suffering from insomnia I either count sheep or ask my girlfriend how her day was.
When I see a girl with a lot of makeup, I want to use my finger and write WASH ME on her face…