Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you`re bored, wear a cape. Then you can be Super Bored
Famous people could rob banks wearing masks of themselves and they`d never get caught.
Hump Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just want to read, have a snack, then take a nap. Basically, I just want to be in kindergarten again.
Went into a five-star hotel to use the bathroom and now it`s a two-star hotel.
Health experts recommend a 1500 calorie diet. For those of you not good with math... that’s a 12-pack of 125 calorie beers. You`re welcome!!! ;)
I`m thinkin` Dodgeball........... but with random people..........who don`t know they are playing.............
Roughly 82% of my day is trying to decide what my next meal will be
Stretch pants are like Wonder Bras for your butt cheeks
Thanks, resealable packaging, but I think we both know that won`t be necessary.
All shoes are technically buy one get one free.
I think my credit card looks weird. Could you send me a picture of yours so I can compare?
Drinking: because why not intensify the feelings you’re trying to escape?
If you added up all the time you waste on Facebook, think how much TV you could watch.
If you can`t handle me at my worst, then that sucks because that`s all there is to me.