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It is totAlly unnecessary to put a PM after 23:00.
Our office just got a new conference table. It sleeps 20.
Sanity is so overrated. I mean, it`s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn`t want to live there....
The only human interaction I want for the rest of the day is the exchange of money between me and the liquor store cashier
"She really does suck!" could be a complement in the porn industry
If video games have taught me anything, it’s that if you encounter enemies then you’re going the right way.
So many people are making history right now. but me, I`m deleting history from my browser.
Dont you hate it when you open a bag of chips and its half full?! Yeah, that´s how us guys feel about push-up bras!!
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
The mechanic asked if I wanted my tires rotated and I was like, "No thanks, I`m pretty sure they do that all by themselves while I`m driving"
I learned two important lessons today. I can`t remember the first lesson, but the second one is I have to start writing things down.
Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
I`ve officially met everyone`s mother yesterday via Facebook so I`m pretty sure that takes me out of the friend zone here ladies
The only b word you should call a woman is beautiful. B!tches love to be called beautiful.
There are sick days, paid holidays, and vacation days. What about "Don`t have any gas to make it to work days"