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Easter can be just as much fun as an adult as it was as a child. Just paint and hide beer cans instead of eggs.
I don`t always have awkward moments, but when I do I make sure I write them on Facebook so my friends know how awkward they were.
I see your arguement contains a lot of swear words, you must really know what you`re talking about
So the other day a girl asked me to Facebook her, needless to say she wasn`t to happy after I hit her in the face with a book
Besides tweeting during this job interview, what would you say is your biggest weakness?
Ex Girlfriend: Omg! I had a dream about you last night!! Ex Boyfriend: Aww thats so sweet, what happend? Ex Girlfriend: U died :)
“Oh boy, I can’t wait to be productive today.” – said no one ever
Just so you know, I am already planning on being an a$$hole tomorrow.
Likes doing tokyo drifts with the shopping carts when I round the corner of each isle at Walmart.
You don`t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
You dont know sh!t about pressure until you`re the only Black person on the dance floor while white people clap & form a circle around you
Sorry I wore tear-away pants to your wedding. In my defense I really thought I had on underwear.
I thought kegels were like Jewish bagels
I like working from home. It`s much more comfortable than sleeping in my cubicle.
Twice-baked potatoes, refried beans, etc.: Damn, people, cook it right the first time or get out of the kitchen!