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Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called “fun sized” should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.
Smooth move.........ExLax
I`d say I`m not a morning person but I`m really not sure I`m an evening person either.
I am sick of people thinking deodorant is optional.
You`d think this moron wandering around the lot would give up after 10 minutes and push the alarm button to find their car ... But I won`t
Hi, we`re a group of teens who solve mysteries! We wanna be taken seriously so we wrote a theme song about how we can`t ever find our dog.
Flip flops are fun because every time you take a step it`s like a high-five for your feet.
so apparently there is no such thing as a St Patrick`s Santa and I`m not sure whose lap I just sat on at the mall.
Bad things happen to good people, so I`m pretty sure we`re all safe
Farted in my wallet, Now I have gas money.
I hate when its dark and your brain is all "you know what we haven`t thought about in a while ... demons."
Santa gets all the credit and I get all the debt.
If we’re not supposed to eat late, then why is there a light in the fridge?
I saw a bug crawling on my arm and my reaction can only be described as "grabbing for swirling dollars inside a Plexiglas Cash Cube."
Microsoft Excel has got to be the worlds worst video game.