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Facebook is like Chinese food. When you think you had enough, you want more.
The best thing about telepathy is…I know, right?
No matter how old you are ... swingsets are cool.
If I had the money I`d hire 2 private investigators to follow each other
I always close my eyes when I kiss a woman. Experience tells me that if my eyes are open, I get a lot more pepper spray in them.
If u cant live without me, why aren`t you dead yet.
Junk food would be a lot easier to avoid if it actually tasted like junk.
It`s gonna be hotter than Billy Ray Cyrus after watching his daughters performance on the VMA`s tomorrow!
Everything is a boomerang if you throw it upwards.
I dont pay for cabs if I’m too drunk to drive. I find the nearest Dominos, order a pizza delivery to my house & ask for a ride home with it.
Eww!!! Beer does NOT taste good on Cocoa Puffs! ..I`m switching back to my Fruit Loops! ;)
I turned out ok for a kid raised in a large part by Bugs Bunny.
Damn girl are you a cobweb cause you`re really clingy and annoying
Being in the friend zone is like being the guy in the band who plays that little triangle.
You`d think the self checkout lanes would have more mirrors.