Daily Silly Status

I run entirely on caffeine and inappropriate thoughts.

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

I`ve been having really bad headaches lately. The doctor said they were all in my head.

If by “clubbing” you mean eating club sandwiches then yeah I’m pretty into the club scene.

Flies are everywhere, unfortunately the second I grab the fly swatter, they turn into ninjas.

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

I`m putting more thought into my Halloween costume than into my job.

ME- I love it when you lay me down like that, the way you touch my belly and put cold things on me baby DOCTOR- Miss this is a medical examination and you are making me extremely uncomfortable

One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I am going to bed. Good Night :D

I didn’t say “what?” because I can’t hear you. I was giving you a chance to change what you said.

My box of Animal Crackers said, "WARNING: Do Not Eat if Seal is Broken." I open the box, and sure enough...

You`re one of a kind! Thank goodness...

Please be careful on the roads. Lots of people are drinking exsessively and letting their wives drive.

Being an adult is mostly just wondering if the stuff in the dishwasher is dirty or clean while eating soup out of a sand castle bucket.

If you love something, feed it so much that it get’s too fat for anyone else to want.