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People who live in glass houses should not throw orgies
You know you`re up really late at night when you turn on ESPN and 2 white guys are boxing!
this website used to be full of funny statuses. Then the 8-year olds came in.
Some idiots actually sold their homes and properties thinking the world was really going to end! What losers. I hope my boss gives me my job back on Monday
Thanks to Facebook, rock bottom now has a waiting list.
I`m doing the KFC Bucket Challenge!
My husband told me that in some cultures women do all the housework, so I told him in some cultures blow jobs don`t exist. He`s vacuuming
I have this empty feeling inside of me. Wait, there`s my drink.
Iām great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
The only clubs Iām into are sandwiches.
I bought a book called `How to become an expert at Origami`. So far, I`ve made 1000 paper snowballs.
Adding "and sh!t" at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: I was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to just ignore you.
I`m just amazed after all these years that we STILL haven`t seen Mario`s buttcrack.
I always write `wake up` on my to-do-list so I can at least accomplish one thing a day