Daily Silly Status

Of all the bands named after handicapped jungle animals, Def Leppard is my favorite.

Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.

Anyone else immediately turn down the car radio the second you think you might be lost?

You never really know a woman, until she takes you to court.

So I just saw a donkey crossing the road. The cool thing was he looked both ways before crossing. What a smart a$$.

once a homeless guy said to me `Hey you got a dollar` and I said `wow your absolutely right..with psychic powers like that I`m surprised your still homeless` got in my car and left..

I hate when beggars rattle their cup full of coins at me. Yes i know! You have more money than me, you don`t have to rub it in..

I pretend to like people everyday. It`s called being an adult. That`s why we`re allowed to buy booze.

When I say “wow, that’s crazy”, 99 percent of the time, it means I haven’t been listening to a word of your conversation.

Shouldn’t the Air and Space museum be empty?

Everyone picks their nose at some point, it`s what you choose to do next that defines who you are as a person.

9 of 10 voices in my head telI me I `m crazy. One hums ...

I never finish anyth...............

Sign in a grocery store: Take lettuce from top of stack, or heads will roll!

I can`t wait til the Presidential race ends so we can stop hating people for their politics and go back to hating people because they`re jerks