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scream outloud and really fast "I won a math debate"
Contrary to popular belief, it`s actually the fat that makes you look fat. It was never the dress
I`d gladly eat raw eggs before my workout provided those eggs were inside brownie batter.
Some people, even in photos, just look like they smell horrible.
spank me, its the only way i`ll learn.
If I could get a firm grip on reality...I`d probably choke it.
If we start calling it `potato juice`, Vodka becomes a health drink. RIGHT?
Tip Of The Week: When going through airport customs and you are asked “do you have any firearms with you?” do not reply “what do you need?”
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place to have sex.
I laughed more at the Broncos offense then I did at the commercials.
The bright side of getting attacked by a Cyclops is only having to use half the pepper spray.
I`ve come to the sad realization nobody will ever triumphantly pour Gatorade on me for any reason
I wish that life had an option for viewing other available episodes.
Women are like bacon: they look good, they smell good, they taste good, and they will slowly kill you
Spoiler Alert: Ladies, if your guy friend gets you a teddy bear, it has a Camera in it.