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At first, I had my doubts about using autocorrect. But my new phone probed me wrong. PROVED DAMNIT! PROVED!
I just saw someone by themselves not looking at a phone. Hope they`re ok.
I`d swim across the ocean for you.. Lol, Just kidding. There`s f*cking sharks in there.
What if pay-phones are disappearing so they can keep us in the matrix?
I went to the bank and said I`d like to open a joint account. They said "With who?" I said "Anyone who has a lot of money!"
Those who stir the sh!t pot should have to lick the spoon.
Is everything expensive or am I just poor?
cofeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffee... Wheeeeeeeeee!
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women hahaha
Stop complaining about the rain. Cause rain makes corn and corn makes whiskey.
Not doing anything with my life is surprisingly time consuming.
Since it is the day to give thanks, I would like to say once again...you`re welcome.
Half-Drunk is a waste of money.
Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is go to bed.
Don`t tell me to make myself at home if you don`t want me to drop my pants and download porn on your computer.