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Ran out of post-it notes, now I don`t know how to remind myself to buy more.
I just can`t seem to get a girlfriend even though I can speak two languages fluently. English and Klingon.
I’m in a long distance relationship. Sure, some people refer to it as a restraining order, but still.
I`d better check my phone for texts from friends. *checks phone* Well, I`d better get some friends...
Let`s start by taking some notes today. I`m fabulous bitches! Write that down.
Some days the problem is I care too much... Today was not one of those days...
Whenever I hear that customer service calls are going to be recorded I do one of my raps because I`m too poor to pay for studio time
*Spoiler Alert*--- Siamese cats are just one cat ... not two cats in one.
The secret to happiness is a good sense of humor and a bad memory.
I know the light has changed twice people but I`m playing air drums until Moby Dick is over...sit back and enjoy the show please...
I`ve just finished doing my hair, want to come over and mess it all up?
Sometimes the problem with reality is the lack of background music.
…and for my next trick, I will pull this dryer sheet out of my sleeve!
The exam hall is the only place on the earth where everyone is desperate for teamwork..
I went frisbee golfing today. I didn`t get an ace, but I did hit a guy and that was just as satisfying.