Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Got a problem with me? I’m pretty sure a status on Facebook won’t fix it.
What doesn`t kill you makes you stronger. Except for bears. Bears will kill you.
I got drunk last night and my house wasn`t where I left it.
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was a big white bear with no sexual preference.
I hate when I forget my sunglasses and get caught staring at a woman`s boobs for 20 minutes.
You know you`re broke when your Bologna Does Not have a first name!
Awww, look. My middle finger likes you!
I am not particularly bad at cooking but how long is pasta supposed to stay in the toaster ?
"It`s not you, it`s me." -Twins looking at some family photos.
People were shocked when they found I wasn`t a good electrician. :-)
I ordered myself an Eastern European bride online. SO EXCITED. Just received confirmation… My Czech is in the mail!
I`m out like a fat kid playing dodge ball..
If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, does it really have calories?
Gardening is awesome because it is one of the only ways a normal person can be persuaded into buying actual bags of poop.
I feel that being a smarta$$ is my duty. The pay sucks, but the work is very rewarding.