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Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.
Hypothetically, when is the right time to tell your divorce attorney that you`ve never been married and you love spending time with him?
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
So far my Christmas shopping has involved buying myself presents, so I`d say it`s been a success.
One day you will meet someone so amazing in every way who will want absolutely nothing to do with you.
We look like we are being productive, but really, we are just talking sh!t about co-workers and how drunk we got last weekend.
Stop complaining about being single!!, we have bigger problems here. Like why McDonalds don`t serve breakfast after 10:30 -.-
Whoever said you can`t "like" your own status is just not awesome enough to do it.
"Latte" is Latin for: You paid too much for that coffee.
I`m not a doctor, but I play one on eHarmony.
Deja Vu: When God thinks something is so funny he has to rewind it to show it to his friends
I hate it when people upload song lyrics as their status`s it reminds me of somebody i used to know
Dear whoever is playing sweet child o` mine at 2:30 in the night at full blaring volume to disturb the whole neighborhood......NICE!
You know you should goto sleep when the sheep you`re counting start hitting the fence.
Is it just me, or did anyone else wake up on the SEXY side of the bed this morning?