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Two girls riding their bikes on a cobble stone road. 1st girl: I never came this way before. 2nd girl: Me neither. It must be the cobble stones.
I`m really wanting to sit and watch a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?
I wonder how long I can keep "eating for two" before people notice I`m not actually pregnant.
My life`s paradox: I love sleeping, but I never want to go to bed early.
Instead of cars warning us of stupid things, like the door is open, it should tell us useful things, like there`s a cop hiding in the bushes
How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb?
It’s not that I don’t want kids, it’s just that I don’t want a minivan.
If listening to stupid people burned calories, I`d be a supermodel.
Chase you? ... B!tch please, I don`t even chase my liquor.
Since you no longer have a calendar I`d like to notify all the Mayans that it has been one year since the end of the world.
I`m not saying my doctor is young, but he just texted me "2mer is B-9, woot!"
If your that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.
Note: the 5 second rule does not apply to soup.
Would you like to save money on your car insurance? Walk ... Just sayin
COLLEGE STUDENTS: if you`re looking for a job, your career center lists thousands of openings you don`t have enough experience for.