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If thought bubbles appeared magically above my head I would be so screwed!
You are wasting your time reading this status.
I dont know whats more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while she stares at you.
It`s been close to a million years since I exaggerated about anything.
I thought I`d try yoga to make myself more flexible, but I`m still incredibly stubborn.
Say what you want about Captain Hook, but he ran that entire pirating operation singlehandedly.
That awkward moment when u start telling a story only to realise no one is listening so you slowly fade out and pretend to have said nothing.
I put the hot in psychotic.
Pretty sure nobody would run marathons if they were never allowed to talk about running marathons.
Somewhere out there is a guy named Joe whose greatest achievement is that he was a really sloppy eater.
Behind every successful status update, there is a Ctrl C & Ctrl V
Before bed, my Dad would always say, "OK son, time to hit the sack." Not sure how me punching him in the balls helped him sleep, but hey, that’s my Dad for ya.
Love means never having to say you’re sorry until you`ve thought up a good excuse.
Do Me: a favor. - Punctuation is important.
One man’s LOL is another man’s WTF.