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Tomorrow is International "Cook a Steak and Then Throw It to a Seagull" Day. Get involved. Don`t question it.
You call it being sober. I call it on my way to the liquor store.
Pretty cool how the internet lets you stay connected with people you haven`t seen in years and silently judge them on a daily basis.
Can you imagine the reactions 25 years ago if you showed someone a photo album of pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
Just checked my Farmville for the first time in 2 years... It`s now a Walmart.
I didn`t see anyone important today so I`m going to wear the same clothes tomorrow.
How funny is it when you’re telling somebody a made-up story and someone says “Oh yeah I heard about that”?
Blockbuster sell sweets and ice cream to go with your DVD rental - who the hell wants to rent sweets and ice cream?
If Violets were Orange, poetry would be a lot more challenging.
I don`t use my cell phone in the car... I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.
My new dating profile just says "I`m tired of masturbating."
The girl at the Taco Bell drive thru gave me this “I know your high” look. I snatched my 37 crunchy tacos and got out of there.
I`ve given up on giving up.
I bet the YMCA dance is alot harder to do in Chinese.
When ever I think about the past...It brings back so many memories