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You all take typos way too serious, you gays.
The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.
I thought the movie `fast & furious` was about my sex life. I`m fast, my wife is furious.
Girls must buy $500 purses just to impress other girls. No guy has ever said "Bro, she was ugly...but that purse...
Do you suppose prison guards could use `PROACTIV` to prevent outbreaks?
Autocorrect is a great feature, but it can also be your worst enema.
The grass was greener on the other side, so we smoked it.
Why are clothes so expensive? I shouldn`t have to pay so much to not be naked. Other people should pay me not to be naked.
"I know im the best driver on the road" thinks every guy.
As it turns out, I’m not an afternoon person either.
Sad life : After watching 2 seconds of Spongebob I already know what episode it is ... I`m 41
If you can´t read this, you´re illiterate.
I`ve decided!! I’m giving up my New Years resolutions for Lent.
Card on top of gift reads `I want you wearing this tonight` only to open the gift to find NOTHING
Don`t feel bad if you don`t enjoy my posts. The important thing to remember is that I do. I enjoy all of them. That`s what matters.