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They say money can`t buy you happiness, but I`ve got a receipt from the liquor store telling a whole different story.
About to try ordering subway without saying um... Wish me luck!
I am sick of people thinking deodorant is optional.
If I rapped I would have to start doing way more stuff because only so many things rhyme with couch.
Sorry but if these walls could talk I`m pretty sure they`d talk about wall things and not whatever scandal you`re blowing out of proportion.
I get more excited seeing my luggage on a baggage carousel than I do seeing a person I know.
New Years - the only day where its socially acceptable to drink this early.
bras are booby-traps
You can`t Febreze bullshit.
If your dog loves hanging his head out the window of the car as you are driving, but growls when you blow in his face, you may need a breath mint.
You don`t need training to be a street cleaner, you just pick it up as you go along.
Good morning friends … Wait … what the hell m I doing up this early?
To all my friends who sent me best wishes for 2013, for 2014 could you please send money, alcohol or petrol vouchers…Cheers!
Greeting all the Single People a very Happy Independence Day!!
Dear single guys; open a pet shop selling cats. Let the single ladies come to you.