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Hey movie villains - make a bomb where the wires are all one color.
They say swearing is due to limited vocabulary. I know thousands of words, but I still prefer`f*ck off` to `go away`.
The hardest part of the job interview is knowing the best moment to lean in for the kiss.
I`m not a psychologist,,, but I remember when a Hot Wheels track magically cured 80% of ADHD
Forget the hero part, I just like the fact that Batman punches clowns.
There`s a fine line between flirty and creepy. And that line is called being good looking.
How many selfies does it take to get to the center of attention?
Live life to its fullest even if that means eating everything in the fridge
I have a moderate amount of skills in life, but one of those things does NOT include the ability to stop eating.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man
My girlfriend told me I`m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to batman... What a joker!
Damn, it`s like these people have never seen anyone bring a flask to the gym before.
Just heard some guy yell "F**K!" ... I thought this was impressive because not many people can pronounce asterisks.
Nice try horror movies, but everyone in my generation is already terrified to answer their phones
I don’t have a problem with friends who ask to borrow money. I love a good laugh as much as the next guy.