Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I sometimes goto Starbucks for coffee and tell them my name is Bueller ... Then leave before my coffe is ready
Could you guys just scroll a little? I was really funny yesterday.
Its all fun and games..until you get stuck on a level of candy crush!!!
I bet if the movie "mirrors" releases part 3, the 1st victim will die while trying to take a selfie
I like to think I`m special, because the thought of idiots like me existing in large numbers is f*cking terrifying.
What happens in Vegas never happens to me
I hate when people call me and ask "WHO IS THIS?"
The longest five seconds in anyone’s life is waiting to press the “Skip Ad” button on YouTube.
Just spent the last 30 minutes cutting a Batman mask off the back of a box of Honey Nut Cheerios & my kid thinks he`s gonna get to wear it.
I`m sorry, I live in the U.S. so I don`t really get the metric system. How much exactly is "in moderation"?
dude i wasent tht drunk you were huging a peice of chese saying ill never let u go sponge bob
I don’t want to think I’m getting old or anything, but all the noises I used to make during sex, I now make getting out of bed.
I´m playing hide and seek with the kids right now and they´ll never find me, because they aren´t old enough to drive or get into this bar.
I like to think all pizzas are personal pizzas.
You ever want to just grab someone and say, WTF is wrong with you?