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Sorry I`m late, the floor was lava
They don`t make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery.
Funny how 8 glasses of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers a day seems so easy
You know how people dread going to the dentist? I feel that way about getting out of bed.
My new years resolution is to try to actually finish someth
Just ordered a chicken and an egg off the internet to see which comes first. I`ll keep you posted.
why hello there stalker! Enjoying my profile?(=
Life would be more simple if the person who named the orange an orange would have named more things. ;) Just Sayin`
Due to the weather, I was able to use the words "wet and slippery" at work all day without anyone thinking I`m a big perv.
I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven`t pooped it out yet ... Really scared now!
If pigs really could fly I bet their wings would taste delicious.
If I`m ever in the hospital on Life Support, don`t just pull the plug. Pull it and plug it back in. Basically, see if you can reboot me.
Iam not as THINK as you DRUNK iam!!
Running away doesn`t help your problems, unless you`re fat. Then yeah, run away.
I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.