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Racism, sexism and homophobia make no sense when there are so many perfectly good stupid people to hate.
I`m in a good place right now. Not emotionally....just that I`m at the liquor store.
I passed a homeless guy who asked "Any change!?" I said "Nope, your still dirty and homeless". We laughed and laughed and then he stabbed me
I have this talent of getting tired without doing nothing.
Had a nice, relaxing weekend. I now have ample energy to hate Monday and most of Tuesday.
slugs are snails that are going through a divorce
Good news I passed my drug test today. But now my drug dealer has some explaining to do.
Unless otherwise stated, I have no idea what I’m talking about.
You can always count on me to feel you up when you`re feeling down
Some people are such treasures that you really just wanna bury them.
Greeting all the Single People a very Happy Independence Day!!
A word to the wise ain`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice.
I was born to be happy… not normal.
Keep your friends close and your enemies tied to a train track.
You know how sometimes as you fall asleep your whole body jolts you awake? That`s a ghost finishing sex with you.