Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Nothing is really lost until your mom can’t find it.
“A body at rest tends to stay at rest” should be an acceptable excuse for missing work.
Facebook is my serious account, the funny one is my bank account.
Hey! Did any of you see my........ Oh ! Never mind... :D How much of you said that before? heee heee hee!
I bet you 20 dollas I`m broke
30+ and single? There`s an app for that. Wait. My mistake. A cat for that.
A bunch of us are going out for pancakes when Facebook is over, if you want to come along.
I wonder how many couples would still be together if they traded phones for a weekend
My illusion of having the Force is crushed the minute the remote is slightly out of reach.
Wow bro, that pot leaf tattoo on your neck really makes the colors of your Burger King uniform pop.
Don’t break anyone’s heart; they only have one. Break they’re bones. They have over 200 of them.
If you can read this please let me know - because it means I blocked the wrong person.
the only way I know something is bad for me is if I like it
I don`t want it to seem like I`m trying to get rid of you, but GO AWAY!!
I found a penny today that reminded me of you. Totally worthless and always in a stranger`s pants.