Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The world would be a much nicer place if everyone took a chill pill. It would be even better if some of them choked on it.
There was a sense of accomplishment finishing the daily newspaper. I literally have no idea when I`m supposed to stop reading the internet.
Not sure what to do with all the daylight we are saving.
Alcohol goes in ... Happiness comes out.
"Wow, that Hungry Man TV dinner sure lives up to its name!" said no hungry man ever.
I stayed at a really nice, really fancy hotel this weekend. The towels were so thick I could hardly get my suitcase shut.
Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it.
Whenever I see a really hot girl with an ugly guy, I think "lottery winner".
There`s no way to look cool when the doctor walks into your exam room just as you`re blowing up a rubber glove.
Walmart: Because where else in the world can you pay $50 to have your oil changed by someone with a GED, find a sized 46H bra, or run the risk of being filmed live on location with the men and women of law enforcement on your way out the door.
My wife and I have been happily married for two years. 1997 & 2004
I don`t even know why chicks spend so much time and money on their hair when all guys look at is their tits.
Still waiting on the "Once you go black, you`ll never go back" episode of Mythbusters.
You know you are meant to be when you high five after sex.
I was thinking about jumping on the Patriot`s Fan bandwagon, but I am afraid that the tires would be deflated...