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What happens in Vegas never happens to me.
The only thing wrong with eary mornings is being awake.
I don`t know about you . But everytime I go on Twitter , I get this weird feeling , I am being followed.
I`d rather have my arms fall off than make two trips carrying in groceries.
I think...therefore, I am.....single
Every day can be Friday if you`re really irresponsible.
Before you judge me, know that I don`t give a crap. Ok, go ahead.
Tampon commercials create an unrealistic expectation of how much fun it is to be around menstruating women.
People are way less judgmental when you say you had an "avocado salad" instead of saying you ate a bowl of guacamole.
Time travel means never having to say you`re sorry...
Is everything expensive or am I simply poor?
You bring the friendship, I`ll bring the benefits.
Just because I’m smiling, doesn’t mean I don’t want to hit you in the face.
I think Facebook now comes under the housework category.
I`m getting really irritated. This is the tenth ATM I`ve been to in the last week that`s had "insufficient funds".