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People assume when I yawn that I`ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
Salad tastes pretty good once you add some pizza and get rid of the salad.
If you hold out your arms like Frankenstein when walking in a leg brace, people let you cut in line at Starbucks.
I dont think McDonald`s french fries are real food. Just found one under my car seat from two months ago and it looked perfect ... Tasted fine, too.
Dear neighbor mowing your yard this morning, I found my bagpipes for tonight.
A 6-month wait when filing for divorce, but only a 15-day wait when buying a gun. I think the solution for relationship problems is clear.
Ever since I heard that women have one breast bigger than the other,it`s given me another reason to stare.
$5.99 Trojan condoms or $19.99 Huggies diapers. Choose wisely...
Alcohol is never the answer...unless, of course, you ask what I`ll be doing tonight.
Internet went down so I had to spend time with my family. They seem like good people.
Didn`t have to do much to end my last relationship...she first told me that "opposites attract"...then a couple of days later she told me i was handsome, kind, smart, funny and loving...
I wan`t you to know that someone cares. not me, but someone.
A new study has found that men have a hard time reading women`s facial expressions. Main reason? They usually aren`t looking at her face.
That awkward moment when your trapped in the corner of your shower because the hot water ran out.
If two donuts are stuck together it counts as one right?