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The sun isn`t the only thing that rises in the morning...if you know what I mean ;)
It’s amazing how little information I need on someone before I decide I don’t like them.
I realized that at my income level "Wealth Management" really just means re-organizing the money in my wallet by denomination.
So many feelings today. Mostly hunger.
To those of you who received a book from me as a Christmas present: just to let you know that they are due back at the library tomorrow.
Who has time to monitor followers/unfollowers? I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those ... Wait ... Two. I have 2 kids.
Some days your the duck. Some days your the goose.
My family is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you`re gonna get but you can be sure there are gonna be some nuts in there somewhere.
Mom: Clean your room. We`re having guests over for dinner. Me: I didn`t realize that dinner will be held in my room.
If you`re already in the cop car, I really can`t see how puking in it could make things any worse.
I have decided to follow my dreams.....starting with that one where I am naked at work.
Women say all men are dogs, but fail to realize that dogs are the most loyal creatures in the world if you treat them right.
Tell a therapist, Not Facebook.
I miss the old days when I could say I wasn`t around and you couldn`t check Facebook or twitter to see if I was lying
Mattel is launching a new Facebook Barbie. She looks like a stunning hot blonde on the package but is an old fat guy when you open the box.