Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The amount of people who confuse "to" and "too" is amazing two me.
I have a land line just so that I still have the option to slam the phone down when I angrily hang up on someone.
If you don’t feel just a little bit of shame after the weekend… you’re not doing it right.
I`m pretty sure country music singers are all just the same guy wearing different hats.
I`ve started an elimination diet, It`s where I eliminate anyone from my life who talks about their diet.
I mean if men are better at math why do they get the lenght wrong all the time.
This is why my kids dont take me places anymore ... Waitress: “Do u have any questions about the menu?” Me: ” Yes, What kind of font is this?”
Do you guys know there are "actual" people out there that don`t have a Facebook account? What the hell do they do all day?
At work, sometimes I secretly brew decaf coffee in the normal pot so that everyone else works at my pace.
My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex but my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia.
When I asked if you had protection, pepper spray isn’t what I meant.
What do bats eat that makes their sh!t our standard for crazy?
Being gay is fine. Being lesbian is fine. Being straight is fine. But do you know what’s not fine? Wearing crocs. That is NOT okay
Sometimes I wonder if I could get away with murder, but then I remember I can’t even eat pancakes without getting syrup all over me.
Fitness? More like, fitness whole pizza in my mouth.